coming of age...

"We'll all become adults one day... and nobody will even think we were kids once..."
- Takamoto (Honey and Clover)

I'm afraid...
Very afraid...

I cannot imagine myself being an "adult" and having to accept all the burdens and responsibilities that come with being one...

Its so scary just to think that one day, people will look back at you with a bitter stare which reads : "How can you be doing this? You're no longer a kid..."

I never want to grow up.... not because I have a deprived childhood or anything like it...
I just don't want to grow up because I don't want to accept the responsibilities of being an adult...

when you're a kid, people say "oh, he's just a boy... let him be, he's just having a bit of fun"
when you're a teen, people say "oh, he's just being rash and hot-headed... its just a phase of growing up!"

but, when you're an adult, people will give you bloodshot stares and cold looks when you do something that isn't "adult-like" or deem fitting of one..



I don't really deem myself as the "creative" sort of person...
but deep down inside, I'm really a different sort of person that people see me in real life..

I'm just a kid... unpredictable and emotion-prone...
but I've left my innocence of youth behind be a long time ago...


to face the world, head on.... I've yet to find the strength and courage to do so...

thats why, I'm so easily bullied sometimes I guess...
I'll just listen and I'll do...

If people give me a negative comment, I'll most likely be too afraid to return to the task...


coward.. ain't I?


if... my reality was my dreams... I'll make it so beautiful, that... no one will ever need to grow up...

ever again....

If my love for you were to be counted in the number of stars in the sky..... You would never need the sun again...

- Andrew

Dominic... you're my birthday present... its when you're worth more then what the entire world can buy...when a day with you can pass in a flash... Its like a dream to just hold your hand and let the world pass buy..... December? December is not even an issue... I will love you beyond the end of time...  

19-Year-Old (Emphasise - OLD)

haha!! Its my birthday today!!!!

lolz... Kinda nice for a birthday... at least I wasn't reminded like a million times that I am 19 years old.. =D

Went to Swensons today to celebrate with the class! Haha... We surprised Sharina by suddenly coming up with a fantastic chocolate ice-cream cake just when she arrived..

haha.. she was so touched she teared..

I'm really happy too... Its not often that I have so many people to celebrate my birthday with me together, but my class has always made my birthday bright and cheerful from the very day I knew them...

=)

Lol.. I wanna thank all those who remembered my birthday!

I think I won't really be able to list all the names, but I was really happy when I looked at my handphone this morning and it read "memory full, please delete messages to clear space for incoming messages"

haha.. for once, it didnt irritate me...

but there were some people I thought would remember my birthday, but didnt... while alot of those I havn't talked to for ages suddenly popped up on my handphone...

I guess its quite an irony... haha


I like my Gravitation prezzy the best though... haha... =)



I miss Dominic... I havn't seen him for so long...
It'll be my best birthday present if he'll just give me a hug...

*hugs*

happy birthday to me ya... at least this birthday I won't be alone... 

Jeez!! I'm drowning in my grief of getting older...

I don't wanna get old
I don't wanna get old
I don't wanna get old!!!!!

nooo... *cries*

Happy birthday to me
I'm older then a tree
Worse then cheese that is mouldy
How happy can I be?

birthdays are suppose to be happy... well, I AM happy, coz lots of ppl remembered!

but..... it just reminds me how much more I have to grow up...

and.. I don't want to... *sobz*

Six Gravitation Comics!!

The more I read about Gravitation, the more I'm starting to think I'm really similar to Shuichi.... maybe thats why I am so attracted to that manga...

Like me, Shuichi has a typical "melancholic"/"Sanguine" personality... (the things you learn in Psychology and Counselling is quite useful)

According to what the traits of a melancholic person should have is
Positive :
Dependable, Sensitive, Analytical, Perfectionist, Self-Sacrificing, Gifted, Loyal/Faithful friend
Negative :
Introvert, Unsociable, Rigid, Moody, Suspicious, Pessimistic
Others :
Have wierd habits or traits
Ideal Careers :
Musician, artist, actor

According to what the traits of a sanguine person should have is
Positive :
Extrovert, Cheerful, Friendly, Talketive, Lively, Receptive, People-oriented
Negative :
Restless, Self-Centered, Trust feelings, Superficial, Childlike nature, Forgets past easily, Live for present
Others :
Can't really habour hatred
Ideal Careers :
Salesman, Real-estate agent

Apart from not being self-sacrificing, dependable, unsociable, rigid, people-oriented and living for the present, the rest of the traits pretty much describe me.

(author's note : I can be extrovert and introvert at the same time, it just depends on what time of the day it is, who I'm talking to, and whether I even feel like talking...)

But on the other hand, wouldn't a combination of jobs or a "musician" and a "salesman" be something like a music producer?

*grins* : That is soo my ideal job!

on another note...

*blink*

haha.. I'm like super happy... I've got six more gravitation comics! Super BIG thanks for RenJin, Xiao Wei mei mei, Brian, The Nobodies (Illango, Matthew, Jason, David), Hazel, Jeremy and Samuel!!
I really don't have a clue who else contributed.. but it must really cost a huge bomb...
Approx : $18+ x 6 = $108

and on top of that, 2 posters of Gravitation that cannot be found anywhere on this island of Singapore!!

I'm so happy!!! =D

omg, but the amount of money that it cost really blows my mind... its so ex!!

*hugglez* thanks sooo much!! =D
heez... I had a feeling that you all were going to buy me Gravitation stuffs.. but I never expected so much... I though it'll be like one book or a poster or something...

lol... beyond this stuffs, I'm really thankful that you all remembered my birthday.. =D

thanks soo much... *blinks out tears*

The first thing I'm going to do once I get to a printing shop is to laminate the posters... Can't afford to let this posters be ruined by awful humid weather conditions...

xD

*

oh yah.. where was I before I strayed from the original topic?
err... oh yah..

How I am like Shuichi *(note : this is unlike Sharina's imaginative "similarities" to Justin Timberlake and such *grins*)

Traits of Shuichi Shindo :

• Plays the synthesizer
• Plays in a band
• His best friend(s) are in the band
• Gets moody very often
• Doesn't do well in school, not very well at least
• Goes crazy over a single person for a long period of time
• Has a few very close friends
• Suddenly shouts for no reason and become quiet at the next moment
• Likes guys (though he still can tell a cute girl from another)
• Is generally very confused
• Wears 2 layers of clothes! (one inner - a t-shirt, one outer - a jacket or a coat)
• Is very very loyal to the person he loves
• Has a kind of puppy-like affection to the person he loves
• Gets upset easily
• Quite good at using the computer
• His name "Shindo" has six letters ("Andrew" has six letters too)

Does all those written above seem alot like me?
haha! the more I write the more it seems like he is actually me in another world...

ohh...
and please don't remind me I'm 19 years old..
i think i've got a phobia of that age...

I hate being reminded that I'm in my last year of being a teenager (the ideal period of time I want to be in)

bleah..
sucks awfully... to be getting old..
I feel a enfeebling wave of rheumatism, arteritist, dementia and hypertension threatening to overwhelm me...

save me..


hahaha =P

The weather was soo hot an hour ago when, but it has turned so cold suddenly.
=D

*hugglez*

To Dominic :
"True love occurs when your love for each other exceeds your need for each other"...
Don't try to carry all the burdens of your world on your shoulder yeah? Thats what I'm here for, to pick you up when you fall and carry you when you're down...
Even if all else fails, trust me... I'll still be there...

If destiny brought us together, it'll take a greater power to ever break us apart..

Death has never been an option for us inheriters of eternal life, but if you would allow the light of your life to extinguish, it'll engulf my world in darkness only..

I'm a guy yeah? so I'll fight for you...
I won't let a person who undermine you get away.

I've always loved you, and the love can only grow stronger...